27 October 2012
[via]
And never forget to be yourself. Don't let others change you, don't let them make you feel worthless. Don't believe them when they tell you that you can't do something. Believe in yourself and stand up for yourself.
That's exactly what I did this week. I just had to because I couldn't take it any longer. There was a situation at work with my boss that was dangerously going into a direction I knew I didn't want to go. And I don't know where it would have lead if I would have just let it go.
If you have been reading WP for a while you might remember that there has already been a time at the beginning of the year where the situation was very similar. The weird behavior of my boss had almost lead me to hand in my notice, because I wasn't able to take any more. Luckily the situation faded away as fast as it had built up and I thought that it was gone forever.
Until last Monday when I came to the office in the morning, I noticed a change right away. The way she looked at me. There was something in her eyes that hadn't been there when I left the office on Friday. There was something different in her voice. The way she talked to me, there was this wave of callousness in her voice. It was scary.
The weirdest part about it was, that nothing had happened to provoke this kind of behavior. Nothing! Still am I the kind of person who will always seek for mistakes on my side before accusing others of doing wrong. She is a very 'certain' kind of person. Hard to please and hard to understand. She has a kind of character I haven't met before in my entire life. She can make you feel useless and small with just one statement paired with a certain look.
First I thought it was just not her day. Some people just don't have the ability of leaving personal issues away from their work place. So, I thought that by the next day it would all be good again. Little did I know that it would be worse instead. And the next day and even the day after that...it just got worse. And was starting to move into the same direction again. On Thursday it had gotten unbearable.
In the morning during breakfast I talked to the hubs about it (for the hundredth time) and he told me that I had to talk to her to dispose of this situation once and for all! There was no way around it. So during work that morning, when the situation had reached a point I wasn't willing to pass, I thought of what he had said to me, took a deep breath and asked her straight to the face, what was going on.
I told her I wasn't going to take it any longer and I told her that if she was not able to treat me with the respect I deserved and with the respect I was treating her with, I would up and leave in an instant. I asked if I had done or said something to make her act that way. I also told her that I'd prefer she would tell me if that was the case from now, on instead of having something build up that could have been prevented. phew
She said it was nothing. She tried to deny her behavior. Of course. She said that if something was wrong she would have already told me. But she did listen and she 'heard' what I was saying and her behavior switched back to the nice and friendly person I had known before.
I don't know why she was that way. All I know is I will never go through this again. Her behavior has already made at least 10 people hand in their notice. And no one has ever worked in the office I work in (together with her for about 80% of the time) for longer than half a year. I had my one year anniversary on Wednesday.
I felt so much better afterward. Even if I know that she might be playing a role, not showing her true face. I'd prefer that over anything else a million times. I felt proud of myself for handling it in such a confident matter. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I could breathe again.
Don't let anyone get you down! Be you and be strong - you are worth it!
Hugs,
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(Atom)
Welcome
Hi, I'm Chrissy - a part-time working mom and wife trying to navigate life by taking the pup for a walk while the pasta is cooking, so that lunch is ready on time. My spare time is for blogging and knitting - give me a precious skein of yarn and I am in heaven! Thanks for stopping by - enjoy! xxx
Find me here
The Name
For your Inbox
Come Follow Along
Looking For Something?
Friends & Sponsors
Share the Love
Labels
@whimsipoppy
Copyright
Total Pageviews
4 comments:
Good for you for confronting her. I think that was the only thing that was left to do.
You can only solve problems, if you bring them up and talk about them.... and even if she said it was nothing, you made her aware that her behavior suggested otherwise.
I am so proud of you for speaking up!
Have a great weekend, sweetie.
I applaud your having been straightforward and having told her how you felt; it takes a lot of courage! I had one boss who was such a big pain and unpredictable! She made me cry for a silly mistake and always made me feel I was worth nothing compared to her so experienced and professional self. She didn't even let resign! She made me feel that I owed it to her to stay because she had trained me and bla, bla. The day I finally said goodbye was such a relief! I never opened up about her behavior, though.
Maybe your boss steps on people because everybody lets her. Good thing you spoke up! ;D Hope she doesn't give you a hard time anymore!
Wow, it is awesome that you confronted her. I know how hard that can be and I can understand how relieved you were afterwards!
Have a great week! Hugs!
Wow. This is fantastic. Somehow I missed this post, but I wanted to comment. You are inspiring and you took the high road by calling her out on it. Way to go!